My Dear Emma
by NCR Ranger
Summary: Its not about whether you're a career solider or not: as a parent, you can't let your child slip away.


_Hey, kid. _

_God, I hope you read this. I've been reaching out over the phone, but that seems to end with my calls going to the realm of voicemail, so I'll take a swing at electronic mail instead._

_Here I go, getting all formal._

_We haven't had a good talk in a while. Too long, actually. Its nowhere near as good as face to face, but I can't stop doing everything I can anyway. So, that's partly why I've sent this as an email; a little, more tangible reminder that I am actually **still** around, and that you can **still** talk to me about the big things in your life. One of which, as I recall, is you and your opting to go to artistic school._

_Honey, I'll be honest with you: I don't think that's a good idea. Its not the kind of career known for giving you a good steady income, for one thing. And, I don't think its stable, either. You know what I mean to say: I don't think you can rely on it to keep yourself afloat. Are you sure you're not doing it for some other reason, and not because you know its what you want ?_

_Wrangling the boys on Bravo is one thing; but you ? You're not fully grown up yet, like them. You need me. You need someone who's been around for a while, because I want life to go well for you. I want it to be better than mine ever was- and until your mother died, my life was going pretty well._

_You have to know, that I've got your back, no matter what though. You can count on me to do what I can for your future. Because I'm your parent, and that I love you unconditionally doesn't even need to be said. Your mother and I loved that way you to heaven and back from the second you were born. _

_I still do. I still care, Emma. Please, talk to me ! Listen to me ! You're on the edge of where being a kid ends and and adult begins. You can't go it alone._

_If you read this, I pray we can talk in the same room, because at the end of the day, these problems aren't the ones we can fix any other way. But there is always a way out._

_There is **always** a light at the end of a tunnel, no matter how dark. _

_Be there for for brother, till I get back, ok ? I know you've been doing that anyway, but keep it up. You're doing great there._

_ Keep the lights on._

_I love you._

_\- Your old man_

* * *

He hadn't hit ' send ' yet.

It'd been around, 15 minutes, give or take, from when he'd finally finished compiling the message, but Jace still hadn't sent it on its way. He was still sitting in front of the laptop, staring at the screen, staring at the rows and rows of text he'd written.

He'd done his level best to put his thoughts down. Jace didn't think of himself as the most articulate person, but he'd done what he could for Emma. An email didn't seem as personal or connecting as a phone call- because it wasn't. He wasn't hearing her voice, let alone hearing it _not_ through a speaker.

_But, that's the trick, isn't it ?, _the NCO thought, biting his lower lip. Emma was all but ignoring him. Even before he'd left for the Philippines, he'd gotten the impression she had something against him. Not the usual kind of coming-of-age, " you don't understand me " grievances you'd expect from someone her age, but rather, something else.

Something worse.

When he'd sought to explain that he didn't think her choice of collage major was a good one, she reacted like he'd told her she should get out, leave the house, and not ever return. That hurt more than getting sliced by shrapnel. At least on the battlefield, everything was clear and direct; he knew where he stood with everyone and everything.

Even when he was off that field, or all the way stateside, he felt a sense of calm and certainty. He was a warrior between battles. But, when he spoke with Emma, all of a sudden, everything became tangled in strings.

It hardly even seemed to matter whether he was a SEAL or not. He could be a _lobster fisher, _and somehow, Jace still felt that all these troubles with her wouldn't have gone away. They were the biggest ones in his life right now. Ray was going off the rails for some absurd reason or other, but that wasn't the same.

Would leaving Bravo help ? What did she _want_ ? Jace could handle his own mind; he knew he wasn't falling apart. But, it seemed like Emma was, for all her attitude, and that was intolerable.

" Should I bother ", he muttered, letting a finger hover over the " send " option. " I should call her instead. Again. No promise she'll answer, but- "

He exhaled, closing his eyes.

_Alana. You did this better than me_

When he opened them, the screen was still there. With the words on it, still unsent.

For now. He had to do something.

_I'll go for it. I have to._

He hit " send. "


End file.
